I AM A GRATEFUL RECOVERING DRUG ADDICT

I have been clean and sober for 23 1/2 months.


On the second to the last time I used methamphetamine, I had just slammed something like a .70 and went into paralysis as we all do. I was at 143 pounds and had been on one for a few months.


So I said to my Heavenly Father "Boy God, this crap is doing a good job of killing me".


So our beloved Heavenly Father said to me in a very loud voice "HOW CAN YOU EXPECT TO WANT WHEN YOU USE THE BLESSINGS I GIVE YOU, AND SLOWLY KILL YOURSELF? I ONLY BLESS THOSE WHO WANT TO LIVE. I WILL NOT STOP YOUR PAIN FROM NOW ON. I HAVE CODDLED YOU FOR OVER 35 YEARS NOW. I'M DONE CODDLING YOU."


So later that night I took off from my buddies place still suffering from atrophy and going at a snail's pace to hobble the 4 miles across town to my apartment. It was a mild October night. I was hallucinating money on the ground. So I'd painfully bend over to pick it up. And our Heavenly Father would whisper in my ear "bet ya didn't need that too". Change was falling out of my pocket as God was definitely trying to tell me something.


I had stopped by the CVS pharmacy to pick up some supplies. But on the remaining part of the walk home, 2 of the plastic bags tore a hole in them; and a bottle of dish soap and a bottle of Bod Black body spray fell out.


I definitely was a walking dead person. And there God was issuing me an enormous punishment. I arrived home 11 hours later because my amazing speed was at something like 3/4 mph. Our Heavenly Father had a graceful gift in the mailbox with my check for my city bus monthly pass.


I stayed high for a few days on that sizable dose. And in the process tried to make friends with a rottweiler by stinking my face in her's. That ended up with me losing part of my nose.


The following week, I did not heed my Heavenly Father's advice, and went out ta get some more. I had just did another monster dose, and I wasn't 5 minutes I fell. I ended up with atrophy so bad, my feet bent upside down and i was walking on the tops of my feet.


I bent the ankle of my right leg at a 90° angle, damaged the left foot, severed a nerve in my lower right leg, and have significant damage all the way to my neck.


The taxi driver had to carry me upstairs to my apartment. BAM, instant lessons.


While immobile in my apartment, I had a massive infestation of bed bugs. And they were eating me alive. It was a nightmarish experience of personal, Biblical proportions.


So a couple of months beforehand, I had this interest in a man I had met on Facebook in 2013. While I had posted "where's my place in this world?" And he responded with "your place ie with me".


So I knew I needed that major intervention to get me out. And I found the resources to travel from Eau Claire, Wisconsin to Liverpool, Pennsylvania to start over with him.


And I haven't used since. 8 1/2 months later, my BabyLuv Jim passed away from complications from open heart surgery due to a heart attack. But he was so instrumental in saving my life. He was appointed by God to do that. And I still grieve now, a year later.


Since then, I had thought about a purchase. But when I did, I fell asleep late one night and bashed my head up. Another sign of the pain I will feel if I even think about going back there.


As our Heavenly Father is done coddling me when I make bad decisions, so does these United States of America. We've had enough time to learn from our bad choices and mistakes.


Put our ideology and/or our theology through the Constitution, and if it doesn't pass; then drop it. Simple stuff here.


Tonight I am up to 265 pounds and I don't mind the extra weight, got my own apartment, I manage my own money, have wonderful neighbors, have a few nice things, am not on probation, no pending charges, not locked up, and I have food.


We've come too far America. Too far not to do something great that shows the infinite glory of our Heavenly Father.


Love,

Your Ricky

(HugsAndKisses)

The World Needs More of That




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